The Client

Chris is a former Navy Officer who specialized in surface warfare and nuclear engineering.  He is happily married for 11 years, has three beautiful kiddos, a successful job in construction management, an avid guitar player, and an athlete living in California.  His main philosophy on life is to share love, continue growing and find balance in life. 

From conversations with Chris: 

Where were you before we worked together?

I was using alcohol as a crutch that was completely habitual and because of this, developed an unhealthy habit of drinking almost every night that was challenging to let go of. I drank to relieve stress and allow myself a free pass on my diet and inhibitions. Alcohol became an evening habit that numbed me out and was usually combined with TV or video games. It wasn't as serious as alcoholism, but I felt like I lost control over when and how much I drank, and I didn't know how to stay committed to the decision not to have a drink.

I felt like I was one-dimensional in some ways, like I lost my creativity or am limiting my ambition, and I missed feeling connected to my source. I lost my balance in life.

Along the way, I also picked up some bad habits and carried quite a bit of unresolved emotions, so I was consistently drained and found joy to be a bit more intermittent. I also struggled with where I was placing my value...if I'm working hard at work, I'm doing it right; I'm a good person because I'm a present dad, or I'm a good person because I have a good relationship with my wife and care about what she wants. Almost everything was external validation.

I felt like I was sprinting with no end in sight, and I was heading down an unhealthy path and wasn't sure how or what to adjust to get out of it, both in terms of physical health and emotional health. It was also like I had forgotten how to get unstuck; I couldn't see a clear path out of the poor habits I had developed. 

I knew that shaking it up, getting some accountability and perspective would help me, so I jumped in.  

Where are you now? What were the most powerful breakthroughs?

Overall, my life is more peaceful, and I have more joy in my journey. I know how to check in with myself better and acknowledge the difficult moments without letting them consume me. Funks don't last as long, and I am aware of when I'm self-sabotaging my progress. When life is chaotic and out of control, I use the tools we (Nicole and I) have developed together to get back on track and where I want to be heading so much quicker now, and I don't really get stuck in a rut. 

I also still feel everything. There's no faking or toxic positivity, and it's using healthy tools to process what doesn't serve me best.

I now had a good chunk of time in sobriety, so I remember what and know what my life is like without alcohol. Alcohol does not have the pull over me like it used to, and it's no longer a focal point or tool I need or am drawn towards to find peace and fulfillment at the end of the day. For me, it was about finding balance, and I believe I am there. Complete sobriety was never my main goal but I found my life is generally better without using it. The few times I’ve shared a drink with a loved one it’s been a clear decision. I’m no longer grappled down by the habit.

I have the ability to see value in myself without seeking external validation and that my actions reflect my values instead of taking value from my actions. I learned what it means to live in integrity with myself and to let go of situations, emotions, etc., that aren't helping me live the life I want to live.

I also feel really strong with my ability to check in with myself and spend time reflecting within while keeping my energy from being overly impacted by the energy of people around me. I also learned to reconnect with my source and the divine and have developed more healthy stress relief techniques. 

What's been unexpected for you while working together? 

I didn't expect to unlock a lot of the unresolved trauma and emotion that I had been carrying around, which were a big part of keeping me stuck in some unhealthy habits. I also learned many tools to connect with my intuition that I would not have considered before, like oracle cards and specific meditations. I also didn't expect to find a kindred soul of sorts; I feel lucky to have been able to see a glimpse of Nicole's life and genuinely care about her future. I enjoyed the opportunity to be vulnerable with a trusting, kind, knowledgeable human that shared personal experiences and valuable tools to help me progress.

I also really enjoyed having someone who wasn't directly connected to my day-to-day experiences that cared about my healing above anything else. 

What would you tell someone who is currently stuck where you used to be? 

Seek help from someone that wants nothing but the best for you and can teach you tools to help you bring more overall joy in life. For me, there was also a trust component I had to get over. I thought that surely Nicole couldn't be this understanding, knowledgeable and kind. It wasn't debilitating or long-lasting, but something I had to work through, especially when we started EFT.

What are the top 5 things you feel really great about since starting the coaching journey?

1) Finding complete peace during small moments (catching a beautiful view, etc.)

2) Gratitude is easier to see and feel

3) I'm able to process the inevitable hardships of life more quickly

4) I feel better overall, have lost some weight, and pay closer attention to how to nourish my body.

5) I'm a much better listener and feel like that enables me to love those around me more consistently.